Laura Gets Shit Done

...hence the silence.  I'm SO grateful for this baby growing inside me - but I'm struggling with demons that have been in me for my entire life.  I realize what a blessing it is to be able to get pregnant, to stay pregnant, to have healthy baby.  I thank God every single day for the blessings he brings to my life.  We got news this week that this baby is a very healthy, strong, growing - BOY.  Which is awesome.  You could have knocked me over with a feather - I was sure this was a girl.  But, apparently, I was wrong! God continues to surprise me!! I'm still suffering morning sickness - and I'm combating it by taking meds every night and making sure I'm never hungry.  Which means eating all. the. time. What a horrible thing to complain about - right?  I mean - this should be a dream come true.  But I'm blowing it.  I'm making horrible choices.  Not all the time.  But enough for me to feel guilty.  For eati...

Not much to report here, I'm tired, I'm getting bigger, I'm eating all day long...I'm 19 weeks along now and right on track for weight gain according to my doctor.  So I'm trying to be nice to myself about my choices and the fact that it feels out of control (compared to when I was trying to lose weight). I'm staying off the scale mostly - I weigh myself about once a week or so but I'm trying really hard not to let the numbers get me upset.  BUT - what I'm struggling with - and it's new to me - is body image issues.  I KNOW I'm pregnant.  I KNOW my belly is getting bigger.  I KNOW there's a baby causing that - but I'm really struggling with my own perception of a larger tummy.  After losing 130 pounds 9 years ago, I had a reconstructive tummy tuck.  I was middle heavy so when I lost the weight, I had a huge "skin apron" that hung down to my thighs.  I had the tummy tuck and have had a (relatively) flat stomach since then.  I...

well...because that means that even while baby's growing, I'm keeping my weight steady!!  It's funny how staying the same feels like a win right now.  I'm making healthy choices most of the time but I'm not limiting much (I'm even not doing great on the candy front - when I feel icky and tired and *fill in the blank* I really just can't stop thinking about it - Addicted?  *sigh*) But I'm walking a little more - just little stuff, parking farther, getting off the bus earlier, walking around work - but it all counts.  It's funny how it's easy to give someone else credit for their small steps when it's hard to credit ourselves - anyone else feel that way?  I commented on a fellow blogger about she is walking home from work - it's 3 miles.  She was bummed about walking and I commented that it counts for activity points (she's doing WW).  And while I'm not doing WW, I don't give myself any credit for walking to/from the bus (3/4 ...