Laura Gets Shit Done

I'm still "off the wagon" but maintaining my weight.  I'm struggling on all fronts but still alive.  I'm using the last couple days of 2010 to just release the guilt and on Monday I will post new goals and start over again.  2011 is going to be EPIC!

Hee...ya, I just realized that Christmas is like...NEXT WEEKEND!!  Um.  I'd better start shopping. We have plans for this holiday - our families are overwhelming at the holidays and trying to juggle everything and everyone is always more than we care to think about.  And - I think like a lot of people - we get into the middle of it, throw our hands up and say "next year we're going into HIDING for Christmas!!" Well, this year we sort of ARE!  We rented a house on the Oregon coast and we leave on Wednesday, come home on Sunday.  Christmas just the 4 of us - I know it won't be perfect but it will be GREAT!  I'm working on the menu for while we're there - healthy and clean foods!  I'm bringing warm clothes for long walks on the beach, we're bringing boards games, the Wii, and NO computers!  Can you tell I'm excited! I'm still pretty distracted by stress and it's showing in what I eat.  I'm not binging but I'm not abstaining e...

yesterday was definately a low point.  Our puppy was doing so well but ran out of fight.  She passed yesterday afternoon.  2 dogs in 4 months.  We still have one at home and I can only pray he stays healthy for a long time.  I don't know how much more I can stand.  I need to recognize that I've got a healthy family and be grateful.  But I miss her.  She was only in our lives for 1.5 weeks - just enough to love her deeply and miss her.  On the good news front - I finally got off my butt and exercized - boot camp for 20 minutes and Wii Fit for 15.  Not earth shattering but moving.  Tonight we have a Christmas party to go to and I'm hoping that the recent memory of movement will help me remember to stick to my plan.  And tomorrow there will be another bootcamp.  At least 20 minutes if not the full 30.  (the disadvantage of doing it at home is that I can quit before all 5 sets are done...) Down to 191.4 this morning....

It's been a killer couple of weeks - some medical decisions that were stressful (but all A-OK now), a new puppy, a very sick puppy, a nearly dead puppy and 3+ nights of no sleep. Stress has been at an all time high.  And while that's no excuse - well, it's BEEN my excuse.  I've been just out of control enough to feel guilty.  But not gain weight.  But realize some very important things.  I am a food addict.  And I'm not sure - no - I AM sure: That will never change.  I can continue to try and control it.  And I will try and control it 100% of the time.  But there are times that I will relapse.  And like all addicts, what counts is picking myself up and starting over again.  I'm hanging steady at 192.0 - which on one hand is good on the other hand it's telling my brain that the junk I'm eating won't make me gain weight (BULLCRAP it won't!)  I haven't been working out - I've been exhausted in the true medical sense of the ...

Stress level is at an all time high - our puppy is sick, there's some family stuff going on and I turned to food.  Candy. But I've started over again and I can do this again.  I'll update more later - when I've gotten some sleep and can type without massive numbers of typos.  Weight is 192.0, moral is on the rise. 

I've been in a slump - blog silence on my end usually means just that.  I've been struggling to keep up my healthy eating and I haven't been working out.  My weight has stayed the same but that's NOT my goal in this journey.  I'm hanging out at 191 still - so close to 180's.  But I'm really mentally struggling.  It's been cold.  I've been exhausted.  I haven't felt 100% well.  I've got a million other excuses.  I've spent 42 years making excuses.  I'm a freaking Excuse Expert.  I'm signed up for a 5k on 12/12 - so I'd better get my butt in gear.  I'm contemplating a 1/2 marathon in April - I'd better get my butt in gear.  I've lost 49 pounds and have 41 more to go - I'd better get my butt in gear. If only it were as easy to DO as it were to say.  I've cheated on my abstinence foods - sugar AND candy.  Still no chips - as if there's solace in that.  But today's a new day and Day 1 again.  And to...