Laura Gets Shit Done

Let's just say that I'm pretending yesterday never happened. In summary: Waffles (with syrup) for breakfast Nap delivering pies to my grandparents making pie for dinner heading to my mom's dinner candy more dinner poker candy desert I'm not proud.  I had plans - I had a strategy.  I have to figure out a better plan for Christmas.  Because today I feel (physically) BLARG!  Today's a new day - I had a few leftovers for breakfast - turkey and a little bit of green beans (one of the dishes I didn't try last night).  Tonight I will be doing bootcamp...and then spend some time on the spinner.  And avoid the scale until Monday - hoping to spend the weekend back on track enough to not undo the last bit of my hard work. I'm disappointed.  But trying not to beat myself up.  How did everyone else do? TTFN, LauraLynne

not only is there snow and ice everywhere....but my eating hasn't been great either.  I've been avoiding blogs and blogging.  Major case of guilt.  I haven't been feeling great - emotionally - just teenager stuff and out lash after the dad visit.  I knew it was coming but even braced for it, I wasn't prepared.  I had McDonalds for the first time in 11 months.  And it was good.  No.  Really.  Geesh.  I wanted it to taste bad, too feel sick afterwards.  But nope.  And today I snitched a bite of pumpkin pie filling.  I want to say "...in the scheme of things not too bad" but that's just justifying.  And it's the first step onto a VERY slippery slope.  I haven't worked out since Saturday - which for some people is solidly average but for me - it's bad.  And while the scale hasn't punished me appropriately (yet) I know it's coming.  It has to.  And the old me is ready with excuses.  I'm so clos...

Today's weigh in - because I know you all waiting the whole week for this - right?!  :) 191.0 I am so close to seeing 18x.x that I can taste it!!  The scale was all over the place this week but today is the lowest from the week so I'm happy with that.  I need to start training again.  I'm still struggling with the blahs.  The fun numbers this week are my BMI.  I hadn't checked it in awhile. January: 5'-6" - 240 - 38.7 Now: 5'-6" (why can't I get taller as I get lighter?!) - 191 - 30.8 I'm still classified as Obese.  But in 6 pounds - one month or so - I won't be!  185 pounds puts me at 29.8, only Overweight.  155 - only 36 pounds away now - will put me at "normal".  which would be funny if they were talking about my character - but instead is exciting since they're talking about my BMI.  tomorrow is my last boot camp at the location - next week will be the big test - I will have the at home boot camp and wi...

and winter isn't even here yet!  Our weather (Seattle) has been, well, blah.  It's typical but it seems like every year my reaction to it is worse.  And this year it's awful.  Mid-November and I'm tired of it already. but in the past, it was easier to "enjoy".  Cold weather meant more eating!  It was 'justified'.  Chili, lots of baking, heavy carb meals - it's winter!!  This year is different.  I'm snacking on pears, apples, and satsuma oranges.  I'm eating light meals and I haven't transitioned to my "winter menu" (aka overeating).  This is going to be tough.  Not a hurdle I anticipated at all.  I figured that my journey would continue exactly the same.  Silly  me.  It's cold outside so bundling up for a run is - well, it hasn't happened in a week now.  I'm freezing all the time with 49 less pounds of fat to insulate me.  I'm already a cold person so this is excruciating.  I'm thinking ...

The last several weeks have been busy - hectic - crazy and packed!  I haven't had  chance to shop, plan, cook or eat a real sit down dinner.  We've eaten at restaurants and snacked in front of the TV (healthy snacks - I've been on plan - just haven't had a family dinner at the kitchen table in WEEKS!). Tonight I came home - a little late but still determined.  My son followed my instructions and cooked pasta, ground turkey meat, spaghetti sauce and asparagus.  We had spaghetti, at the table, with all Four of us!  I ate only a spoonful of noodles but a handful of asparagus - both covered with turkey meat sauce.  I'm pleasantly full, both physically and emotionally.  It's been a tough week with my ex. in town, some typical teenage stuff, vacation (which while nice does throw every one's schedule off).  So tonight was just what the Dr. ordered.  And now I'm going to watch a little Biggest Loser, shed a few tears, and snuggle with...

headed to the pool last night with family in tow.  Hubby and son at least - 16 year old girl is grounded without oxygen.  Well, ok, she's allowed oxygen but it was a tough negotiation.  Hubby's not a fan of public pools - he's grossed out by the idea of all the germs and bodily fluids that are just floating around in there.  So when he asked to go last night, I was elated!  Swimming has been so solitary for me - and if they were coming, I could use THEM as an excuse to go on the rope swing that I usually just watch during my laps.... I began to worry a little when we walked past the window and nobody was in there - was the pool closed?  Were we early?  As we walked up to the front desk, I asked "where is everyone - is the pool closed?" She quickly - and seemingly routinely answered:  "the pools is being super chlorinated.  There was a contamination earlier"  but that wasn't enough.  She continued: "a little boy POOPED in the po...

We are closing in fast on the holidays - typically the toughest time of the year for trying to lose weight and stay healthy.  How do you plan on handling it?  There's more than the usual stressors to deal with - pressure all around us to 'eat eat eat!' - people who don't understand our struggle and think that one day of gluttony is acceptable (and for some it is....don't get me wrong, my issues aren't your issues or their issues, they're mine).  How do you plan on handling it? Are you hosting any holiday dinners?  Are you cooking any differently?  Do you have multiple meals to attend in singular days (we finally put a stop to that a few years ago - it's just TOO crazy!).  Does your family overeat - do they have weight issues? For me - my family is a key trigger for me - most of them aren't terribly overweight and none of them completely understand my struggle.  So holidays are difficult for me no matter what my weight status is - and this year mor...

I'm having a super shitty day and I'm pissed off because I can't eat my troubles away.  And while I DO know that after eating the trouble only multiplies - I'm still pissed off.  I want my food back. *stomping my foot* Who can I sue for this craptastic hand I was dealt and this stupid addiction.  Why can't I be normal and - well - hell if I even know what normal IS!?!   Ok.  Deep breath.  Back to my lunch of a salad and some brown rice.  I'll just pretend it's giant heaping spoonfulls of mac and cheese, cheesy potato mushroom bake, and a family size bag of chips.  PS.  Does anyone want a 16 year old school skipping but otherwise pretty good teenage girl????  Please?!!  Disclaimer:  She likely has the same food addictions and binge tendencies I do.  TTFN, LauraLynne

well, even without doing a lot of training - ok, no training this week except boot camp - I'm still losing weight.  I've been really careful about what I put in my mouth, especially because I haven't been running, biking, or swimming... So not only do I come back from vacation having lost weight - but I continued losing weight this week!  Official weigh in: 191.2 pounds I can't believe it when I look at that number.  That's how much I weigh.  Me!  I'm seeing so many changes in my body right now - the lumps and bumps I used to focus on are melting away.  My legs are starting to look like legs and less like well...I don't even know how to describe how I saw my legs.  Abstaining from certain foods really seems to be the key for me.  There are bowls everywhere here at work of people bringing in their leftover candy.  And I recognize from my impulses just how much of that candy I would have eaten.  Just one.  Just one - from e...

I’m sitting here at work – my tummy’s relatively full of a delicious lunch – half a tuna sandwich and 2 satsuma oranges. I’ve been drinking my water and I’ve got no complaints…except there’s a rumbling in my brain. Bread. My brain wants bread. Any kind of bread. Toast would be nice. But a bagel would work – toasted just enough. The topping doesn’t matter. Crackers would work but they’re on the Abstain list. But as I examine this craving I break it down. Why? I mean why bread, why now – why? I try and think of what PART of the bread I’m craving – the texture? The flavor? The chewing? The hunger? I can’t put my finger on it. There’s no solid reason for wanting some bread right now. I mean, it does taste good – but food is for hunger. And I’m not hungry. And it smells good – but so does an orange or a pear or the roma tomatoes I have in the work fridge here. Is there some correlation to needing the carbs? Some mysterious blood sugar foreshadowing? I’d like to think that if my brai...

I've been spending less time online at home - I get email on my phone so I delete the junk and save the rest to read on the laptop at home.  Last night I finally got to my email and there was one that I had glanced at on my phone but hadn't read.  "congratulations on your WLS anniversary" Oh ya.  I kind of forgot.  I often forget I'm a bypass patient.  Especially when I still struggle every day with food and food choices.  But they don't tell the whole story when you hear about weightloss surgery - it deals with the physical aspects of over eating. But leaves the rest of it - and that's a mighty amount - to surface later. My story: At 300+ pounds, I had the usual trouble that comes with obesity – walking up stairs, finding decent clothes, self esteem, and health problems. I had sleep apnea that was ruining my life and my health. I had 2 small children I couldn’t keep up with. I was losing hope rapidly. I first started researching Gastric Bypass ...

so - first I need to give a little back story here.  A group of women friends and I used to go to Vegas once a year for a motorcycle event called Femmoto - it was heavenly.  All the manufacturers were there to allow us to test ride their latest motorcycles on the Las Vegas race track.  Heavenly I tell you.  Several years ago, after a long day at the track, we all headed back to our hotels to freshen up and then hit the town.  The first part of the evening was to be spent shopping...you can see where this is going.  Let me just add that on the day I left for my trip, my work informed me that I wouldn't have a job when I returned.  Thanks a-holes.  The trip was already paid for so we went anyway.  I was tired, we'd just stuffed our faces at a buffet (my friends range in size from amazingly in shape to very normal - I was by far the largest - probably 225 or so at the time).  We hit a few of the shops where I watched everyone else in the ...

So I weighed in this morning - 192.2 Yes, I actually went on vacation and came home LIGHTER - I'm more excited than I can begin to explain.  So many times - even at home - I feel like I'm on track, doing all the right things, get on the scale and WHAM - no loss or a gain for no explainable reason.  So the fact that I was able to stay on track AND lose weight while on vacation...that reinforces the fact that abstinence is working for me.  Long term.  Here are some progress pictures: 192.2 pounds my butt isn't just smaller but the dimpling is going away - I'm amazed - simply amazed! Say hello to my boxer dog: Houdini! My Calves!!  I can't get a good shot...but this gives you some idea... Work in the morning - after a week off (I've never taken a week off before!) - I'm not looking forward to it but oh well - got to pay the bills! Time to go watch a movie and hang out with hubby! TTFN, LauraLynne

Ok - I'm home, doing laundry - dropped the kids off with their dad (he was high, he takes massive doses of painkillers - pained ME to leave them there).  Now I'm chilling - and I stepped gingerly on the scale and it's down - I'll have an "official" weigh in tomorrow morning since after dinner and at night doesn't really count...I just couldn't stop myself!  On to update #1 - measurements.  Arms: last month 14.5, this month 14.5 - no change in measurement but I see more definition! Bust: last month 41, this month 40.5 (my husband groaned LOL) Hips: last month 45, this month 43 - 2 inches gone!!  Boot camp is really paying off!!  I'll have to find a substitute for when my sessions are used up! Thighs: last month 26, this month 24.5 - 1.5" gone - holy moley I'm excited! Calves: last month 17.5, this month 17 - "only" .5" but the definition is amazing - I'll try and take photos Stay tuned as I work furiously on gett...

but you're going to have to wait!  We're heading home tomorrow - where I'll get to catch up on blogging, laundry, chores, and drop my kids off with their dad.  I'm nervous about getting on the scale for the first time in a week - but I've been eating well, making great choices (including NOT having chocolate cake which is everywhere I look down here!).  We're walking 10 or so miles a day, no snacking - the only down fall is that the water down here tastes HORRIBLE and so I've not been drinking enough which, contrary to what you'd think, causes me to bloat!!  I have several NSV - a few that made me cry even!  but I'm typing on the end of the bed, I've got about 14 hours of vacation left...and I'm logging off!! TTFN, LauraLynne

Ok.  I'll start this with admitting that since I've been watching what I eat, I'm more sensitive to portion sizes.  I also have to admit that I'm a cheap B&tch.  I'll also admit that I rarely go out to new restaurants - I have my faves at home that I stick to. So - here in Vegas we're in a room without a fridge/microwave (note to self, next time spend the pennies to upgrade).  So my plan for groceries and some meals in the room didn't go as planned.  C'est La Vie. So we are eating in restaurants for every meal.  And let me just say - I'm shocked.  And grossed out.  For breakfast this morning the SMALLEST offering was a 4 egg omlet.  Lunch I ate a salad - normal portion size - but the sandwiches offered were 12" only - no 6" sandwich even offered!   And dinner tonight was the final straw.  I ordered the smallest (and cheapest) meal on the menu.  Prime Rib - $12.99.  A fatty selection but everything else had sau...

So far I've walked more than 10 miles in 2 days, made good food choices, both in quantity and quality. I'm paying dearly for it! $10 for a salad or $5 for a burger and fries is a real moral dilemma for me!! To keep track of what I'm eating, I'm trying to take pictures of everything! So here you go (note: I don't eat dressing on my salads so while there might be dressing in picture, I didn't eat it) (BLT no mayo, I took the extra bread out and only ate 3/4 of it and didn't touch the fries that were served with it) Crappy neon lighting but 4 egg omelet was the SMALLEST breakfast offered!! I ate 1/4 if it, one 1/2 of the toast, and none if the hash browns. $2 apple!! It had better taste amazing!!! TTFN, LauraLynne

Sitting here at the airport at *mumble mumble* time in the morning...I'm excited for our vacation and - at the same time - really nervous.  None of the normal routine - none of my usual foods, no kitchen of my own, all eating out.  This sounds like  a recipe for disaster...but I'm trying to stay positive.  I packed a separate bag with my work out gear - it's one of my carry ons so at least if they lose my luggage, I can still work out, right?  And I created a one week training plan - mostly running since Las Vegas is fairly flat this might be a good opportunity to get in some longer runs.  And I'm determined to make smart choices when I eat.  But 5 days.  I can't say I'm not a little worried.  I've been sliding a little lately - I've been really tired, on the verge of going in and having my iron and other blood levels checked.  And tired is a huge trigger for me.  So toast has been disappearing at my house.  It's ...

I never bought any - I was the Halloween GRINCH this year.  Well, not on purpose.  I kind of forgot it was halloween.  My kids were  both busy (teenagers...) and we spent the day going out to breakfast - interesting story there - then a nap (not on purpose!), then off to the gun range for a little pistol shooting (My first time shooting a pistol and I did great!!)  This was done with a .45 Then we headed to church for their 6:30 service and only as we were driving home did I realize it was Halloween!  It was dark out by then and the trick or treaters were dwindling so I put on my Grinch hat and drove right past the grocery store and left the front light off.  I'm pretty sure nobody was going hungy in our neighborhood on account of missing out on one tiny candy from our house.  And no leftovers!!  WIN!! So - yesterday's breakfast lesson.  After a hectic morning - fighting with my 16 year old daughter really takes the wind out of my sail...