Laura Gets Shit Done

Well, I went in Friday for some answers on my health - and sorry folks, but until I have the answers and I've talked to some key people IRL, I'm still going to be a bit mysterious on my blog.  Trust me, when it's time for it to come out, it will come POURING out.  I'm dying to talk about it, either outcome.  I'm in no danger, it's not that kind of answers.  Just some perplexing stuff going on. On to things I can talk about.  Eating and stress.  I suck and managing both.  I have been trying to balance the eating with healthy choices and going for long walks (Taking the "fat man" for a walk at night is what my husband is calling it - he's not fat, we just deal with stress by making jokes).  I've been eating like hell.  chips, candy, and not cooking at home.  Oh, wait!  I did cook at home last night - Talapia and wild rice, it was nummy!!  But I've used stress as an excuse to go right back to ALL my bad habits.  Somehow, I've maintained m

Just trying to find the words to say what I'm going through right now. Not entirely food/diet related but definately health and emotional. Bear with me a couple of days while I wrap up the physical side of things and wrap my brain around all the rest of it. TTFN, LauraLynne

How many of you can relate to this:  You're at a friend's house...or somewhere not close to home at least.  And you're cold.  Or you spill something.  Or...well, you know that feeling.  You need a change of clothes and have nothing spare with you.  Helpfully, your friends say to you "I have *fill in the blank* you can borrow".  And you get that feeling. You look at your friend, you think about the last time you stepped on the scale.  You do the math, that feeling get stronger and becomes physical.  Your brain races.  What do I say, how do I get out of this gracefully.  "Thanks, I'll be fine" "I appreciate it but that color looks bad on me" "I'm used to stains, in fact I kind of like them" "thank you for thinking of me but I don't think that will fit" Inside you're crying.  Embarassment, frustration, just to name a few of the strong emotions now flowing through you.  Part of being "normal&quo

Sorry I've been a little MIA - I'm here, I'm doing ok, just going through some stress.  Today I had a very strange (but good) thought go through my head.  Surrounded by stress, insead of thinking about food, I was actually longing to go for a run.  Shut UP!  No, really! I've gotten my eating 90% under control (is 90% control ironic?) and I went for a 12 mile bicycle ride on Wednesday night.  I'm avoiding staying in bed 24 hours a day which is what I'm inclined to do when I'm under stress.  I'm happy to report I'm back under 200 - 199.x <---ok, I just realized how weird it is that I didn't pay that close of attention to the scale this morning.  Usually that's a number that I see first thing in the morning and then it rolls around in my head all day.  But honestly, today I have no clue what comes after the decimal.  This gives me hope that someday I'll be free of that damn scale.  Here's hoping!! Sorry to report I haven't

So - I went grocery shopping and I have work groceries now.  I feel SO MUCH BETTER about having my usual choices here.  The slipping up is better.  I still went to the drug store for a snack - more to get out of the office - but I ended up with almonds and *drum roll* NO chocolate!! What kind of person celebrates making it out of a drug store without chocolate?! The same kind as the addict who makes it out of the bar with a glass of water.  I feel stronger just in that victory.  Now to make it through the rest of the day!! TTFN, LauraLynne

I've been busier than a one armed paperhanger - still strugging with food...still wearing size 12 pants...trying to find the motivation I used to have!  I went grocery shopping tonight - I now have healthy food for work, one of my frequent crime scenes.  I'm still here - need to make more time to blog, I'm certain that's part of the missing piece of all of this!!  I promise a more detailed update soon!! TTFN, LauraLynne

Because I forgot them... (please excuse the setting - I was at work and just so pleased with myself!!  I really should have someone take a picture in a different setting...)

well - I talked to the coordinator who got my email.  She was very apologetic and agreed that it was a mistake that never should have happened.  She figures that some of the volunteers may have assumed it was over and wandered off or something because there was a motorcycle cop who drove the course to let people know the race was over - there were only 2 people they had to tell that to.  So I feel much better about it now! Wednesday I did an open water swim - roughly 440m - in a local lake.  It felt great! Today I was talking to my husband about the fact that while I can run longer distances and I did keep up with the other swimmers (who are all athletic) I still don't see myself as an athlete - I'm still surpised when my body does athletic stuff.  It's the same as staring at the label in my pants and thinking there's some mistake, no way I fit in 12's!  (yes - I fit in several of my size 12 pants!!  See picture below for proof!) It's all just so weird - ho

I emailed them a long letter. In looking BACK over their website, I see in their timeline that the 10k starts at 9am - then they list the other races, 5k, family run, kids 1 mile dash, and then, at the end of that, the note: course closes at 10am.  Mathematically that means that if you can't finish 6.2 miles in one hour, you shouldn't participate.  I didn't see it when I signed up - or I would have called and clarified or not entered at all.  Now I just feel stupid. And why would the YMCA - a facility that promotes health and community is holding a race that only athletes who run a sub 10 minute mile can participate in?!?!  Last year there were 106 runners - 29 of them finished in OVER an hour - that was what I looked at in determining if I could participate.    I know it's NOT a case of discrimination - I don't throw that around easily.  But I am angry and I feel dumb.  But I sent the email anyway.  Because if I can avoid someone ELSE feeling as badly as I di

Ok - so Sunday I did a 10k with my daughter. It was down the street from my house sponsored by the YMCA. (link for race info here: http://www.ymca-snoco.org/Locations/...ydd.ashx?p=390) Last year's slowest time (Yes, I always look) was 1:22:xx - which is about my 10k time right now. I set my goal at finishing closer to 1:15:xx - there was a decent group finishing around that time but I WAS prepared to be DFL (dead effing last - a technical term LOL) What I was NOT prepared for was having to stop and ask directions because there were no volunteers left and the cones/signs were down by the time I got close to the finish line!!! I had to navigate the final 3 turns without help!  I was NOT last - there was one runner behind me and about 5 walkers WAY behind me. There were other events they were doing - kid dashes and such. But it seems to me that until the LAST runner crosses the finish line, they should have the arrows up at least!! I literally had to find someone to tell me whe

And somedays I feel like I'm wearing Kryptonite underware.  People congratulate me on my running success - and I'm proud.  And then I'm home - alone - with chips in the house.  Or I'm at the grocery store and hershey is having a BOGO sale.  Or hubby invites me out to dinner.... or..or..or... As someone who HAS lost 40 pounds, as someone who CAN train for a half marathon, as someone who generally has her act together...why can't I get my eating under control, follow a plan, stick to it? *deep breath*  I've been walking  fine line.  The scale tells me I'm doing ok - listing what I eat everydy says otherwise.  Overeating, eating when I'm not hungry, sweets and treats - all part of my daily *ugh* that is my life right now.  I know I'm addicted - I have to tools to fight it - I've been IGNORING the tools.  No meetings, not reading the book, not following even the simplest steps - I'm not sure the last time I tracked my calories.  And beatin

We've got a potluck BBQ to attend.  I'm going to bring a giant bottle of water to drink from and a fruit salad to fill up on.  I am going to nibble on stuff other people bring but it will be a bite or two and under control.  I will NOT eat a single chip - those are my kryptonite.  I'm also running a Fourth of July 10k in the morning - hopefully the soreness from that will remind me what I'm doing this all for - to get healthy! My weigh in today is 200.4, I can live with that! What everyone else's strategy?  Are you going in prepared or are you going to be flexible and use good judgement?  Or are you going to call it a 'free day'?  Or just stay home and avoid all of it?  What's your plan? TTFN, LauraLynne