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checking in - hanging in there - and there's a Holiday coming??

Hee...ya, I just realized that Christmas is like...NEXT WEEKEND!!  Um.  I'd better start shopping. We have plans for this holiday - our families are overwhelming at the holidays and trying to juggle everything and everyone is always more than we care to think about.  And - I think like a lot of people - we get into the middle of it, throw our hands up and say "next year we're going into HIDING for Christmas!!" Well, this year we sort of ARE!  We rented a house on the Oregon coast and we leave on Wednesday, come home on Sunday.  Christmas just the 4 of us - I know it won't be perfect but it will be GREAT!  I'm working on the menu for while we're there - healthy and clean foods!  I'm bringing warm clothes for long walks on the beach, we're bringing boards games, the Wii, and NO computers!  Can you tell I'm excited! I'm still pretty distracted by stress and it's showing in what I eat.  I'm not binging but I'm not abstaining e

good news bad news

yesterday was definately a low point.  Our puppy was doing so well but ran out of fight.  She passed yesterday afternoon.  2 dogs in 4 months.  We still have one at home and I can only pray he stays healthy for a long time.  I don't know how much more I can stand.  I need to recognize that I've got a healthy family and be grateful.  But I miss her.  She was only in our lives for 1.5 weeks - just enough to love her deeply and miss her.  On the good news front - I finally got off my butt and exercized - boot camp for 20 minutes and Wii Fit for 15.  Not earth shattering but moving.  Tonight we have a Christmas party to go to and I'm hoping that the recent memory of movement will help me remember to stick to my plan.  And tomorrow there will be another bootcamp.  At least 20 minutes if not the full 30.  (the disadvantage of doing it at home is that I can quit before all 5 sets are done...) Down to 191.4 this morning.  I will do measurements soon - a little overdue but what

a few more details about what's going on...

It's been a killer couple of weeks - some medical decisions that were stressful (but all A-OK now), a new puppy, a very sick puppy, a nearly dead puppy and 3+ nights of no sleep. Stress has been at an all time high.  And while that's no excuse - well, it's BEEN my excuse.  I've been just out of control enough to feel guilty.  But not gain weight.  But realize some very important things.  I am a food addict.  And I'm not sure - no - I AM sure: That will never change.  I can continue to try and control it.  And I will try and control it 100% of the time.  But there are times that I will relapse.  And like all addicts, what counts is picking myself up and starting over again.  I'm hanging steady at 192.0 - which on one hand is good on the other hand it's telling my brain that the junk I'm eating won't make me gain weight (BULLCRAP it won't!)  I haven't been working out - I've been exhausted in the true medical sense of the word.  But I k

checking in - day 1 again.

Stress level is at an all time high - our puppy is sick, there's some family stuff going on and I turned to food.  Candy. But I've started over again and I can do this again.  I'll update more later - when I've gotten some sleep and can type without massive numbers of typos.  Weight is 192.0, moral is on the rise. 

coming out of my slump - and a new puppy!

I've been in a slump - blog silence on my end usually means just that.  I've been struggling to keep up my healthy eating and I haven't been working out.  My weight has stayed the same but that's NOT my goal in this journey.  I'm hanging out at 191 still - so close to 180's.  But I'm really mentally struggling.  It's been cold.  I've been exhausted.  I haven't felt 100% well.  I've got a million other excuses.  I've spent 42 years making excuses.  I'm a freaking Excuse Expert.  I'm signed up for a 5k on 12/12 - so I'd better get my butt in gear.  I'm contemplating a 1/2 marathon in April - I'd better get my butt in gear.  I've lost 49 pounds and have 41 more to go - I'd better get my butt in gear. If only it were as easy to DO as it were to say.  I've cheated on my abstinence foods - sugar AND candy.  Still no chips - as if there's solace in that.  But today's a new day and Day 1 again.  And to

well, that didn't go as planned...

Let's just say that I'm pretending yesterday never happened. In summary: Waffles (with syrup) for breakfast Nap delivering pies to my grandparents making pie for dinner heading to my mom's dinner candy more dinner poker candy desert I'm not proud.  I had plans - I had a strategy.  I have to figure out a better plan for Christmas.  Because today I feel (physically) BLARG!  Today's a new day - I had a few leftovers for breakfast - turkey and a little bit of green beans (one of the dishes I didn't try last night).  Tonight I will be doing bootcamp...and then spend some time on the spinner.  And avoid the scale until Monday - hoping to spend the weekend back on track enough to not undo the last bit of my hard work. I'm disappointed.  But trying not to beat myself up.  How did everyone else do? TTFN, LauraLynne

downhill slide...

not only is there snow and ice everywhere....but my eating hasn't been great either.  I've been avoiding blogs and blogging.  Major case of guilt.  I haven't been feeling great - emotionally - just teenager stuff and out lash after the dad visit.  I knew it was coming but even braced for it, I wasn't prepared.  I had McDonalds for the first time in 11 months.  And it was good.  No.  Really.  Geesh.  I wanted it to taste bad, too feel sick afterwards.  But nope.  And today I snitched a bite of pumpkin pie filling.  I want to say "...in the scheme of things not too bad" but that's just justifying.  And it's the first step onto a VERY slippery slope.  I haven't worked out since Saturday - which for some people is solidly average but for me - it's bad.  And while the scale hasn't punished me appropriately (yet) I know it's coming.  It has to.  And the old me is ready with excuses.  I'm so close to 180's.  So very very close.  An

Friday by the numbers!

Today's weigh in - because I know you all waiting the whole week for this - right?!  :) 191.0 I am so close to seeing 18x.x that I can taste it!!  The scale was all over the place this week but today is the lowest from the week so I'm happy with that.  I need to start training again.  I'm still struggling with the blahs.  The fun numbers this week are my BMI.  I hadn't checked it in awhile. January: 5'-6" - 240 - 38.7 Now: 5'-6" (why can't I get taller as I get lighter?!) - 191 - 30.8 I'm still classified as Obese.  But in 6 pounds - one month or so - I won't be!  185 pounds puts me at 29.8, only Overweight.  155 - only 36 pounds away now - will put me at "normal".  which would be funny if they were talking about my character - but instead is exciting since they're talking about my BMI.  tomorrow is my last boot camp at the location - next week will be the big test - I will have the at home boot camp and will h

winter blahs...

and winter isn't even here yet!  Our weather (Seattle) has been, well, blah.  It's typical but it seems like every year my reaction to it is worse.  And this year it's awful.  Mid-November and I'm tired of it already. but in the past, it was easier to "enjoy".  Cold weather meant more eating!  It was 'justified'.  Chili, lots of baking, heavy carb meals - it's winter!!  This year is different.  I'm snacking on pears, apples, and satsuma oranges.  I'm eating light meals and I haven't transitioned to my "winter menu" (aka overeating).  This is going to be tough.  Not a hurdle I anticipated at all.  I figured that my journey would continue exactly the same.  Silly  me.  It's cold outside so bundling up for a run is - well, it hasn't happened in a week now.  I'm freezing all the time with 49 less pounds of fat to insulate me.  I'm already a cold person so this is excruciating.  I'm thinking about breaking

Tonight's dinner...

The last several weeks have been busy - hectic - crazy and packed!  I haven't had  chance to shop, plan, cook or eat a real sit down dinner.  We've eaten at restaurants and snacked in front of the TV (healthy snacks - I've been on plan - just haven't had a family dinner at the kitchen table in WEEKS!). Tonight I came home - a little late but still determined.  My son followed my instructions and cooked pasta, ground turkey meat, spaghetti sauce and asparagus.  We had spaghetti, at the table, with all Four of us!  I ate only a spoonful of noodles but a handful of asparagus - both covered with turkey meat sauce.  I'm pleasantly full, both physically and emotionally.  It's been a tough week with my ex. in town, some typical teenage stuff, vacation (which while nice does throw every one's schedule off).  So tonight was just what the Dr. ordered.  And now I'm going to watch a little Biggest Loser, shed a few tears, and snuggle with hubby (who has hopefu

tried to go swimming tonight - and why Hubby will never go again...

headed to the pool last night with family in tow.  Hubby and son at least - 16 year old girl is grounded without oxygen.  Well, ok, she's allowed oxygen but it was a tough negotiation.  Hubby's not a fan of public pools - he's grossed out by the idea of all the germs and bodily fluids that are just floating around in there.  So when he asked to go last night, I was elated!  Swimming has been so solitary for me - and if they were coming, I could use THEM as an excuse to go on the rope swing that I usually just watch during my laps.... I began to worry a little when we walked past the window and nobody was in there - was the pool closed?  Were we early?  As we walked up to the front desk, I asked "where is everyone - is the pool closed?" She quickly - and seemingly routinely answered:  "the pools is being super chlorinated.  There was a contamination earlier"  but that wasn't enough.  She continued: "a little boy POOPED in the pool!" I

what's YOUR plan?

We are closing in fast on the holidays - typically the toughest time of the year for trying to lose weight and stay healthy.  How do you plan on handling it?  There's more than the usual stressors to deal with - pressure all around us to 'eat eat eat!' - people who don't understand our struggle and think that one day of gluttony is acceptable (and for some it is....don't get me wrong, my issues aren't your issues or their issues, they're mine).  How do you plan on handling it? Are you hosting any holiday dinners?  Are you cooking any differently?  Do you have multiple meals to attend in singular days (we finally put a stop to that a few years ago - it's just TOO crazy!).  Does your family overeat - do they have weight issues? For me - my family is a key trigger for me - most of them aren't terribly overweight and none of them completely understand my struggle.  So holidays are difficult for me no matter what my weight status is - and this year mor

I just want to say..

I'm having a super shitty day and I'm pissed off because I can't eat my troubles away.  And while I DO know that after eating the trouble only multiplies - I'm still pissed off.  I want my food back. *stomping my foot* Who can I sue for this craptastic hand I was dealt and this stupid addiction.  Why can't I be normal and - well - hell if I even know what normal IS!?!   Ok.  Deep breath.  Back to my lunch of a salad and some brown rice.  I'll just pretend it's giant heaping spoonfulls of mac and cheese, cheesy potato mushroom bake, and a family size bag of chips.  PS.  Does anyone want a 16 year old school skipping but otherwise pretty good teenage girl????  Please?!!  Disclaimer:  She likely has the same food addictions and binge tendencies I do.  TTFN, LauraLynne

Weigh in - food police - and feelings!

well, even without doing a lot of training - ok, no training this week except boot camp - I'm still losing weight.  I've been really careful about what I put in my mouth, especially because I haven't been running, biking, or swimming... So not only do I come back from vacation having lost weight - but I continued losing weight this week!  Official weigh in: 191.2 pounds I can't believe it when I look at that number.  That's how much I weigh.  Me!  I'm seeing so many changes in my body right now - the lumps and bumps I used to focus on are melting away.  My legs are starting to look like legs and less like well...I don't even know how to describe how I saw my legs.  Abstaining from certain foods really seems to be the key for me.  There are bowls everywhere here at work of people bringing in their leftover candy.  And I recognize from my impulses just how much of that candy I would have eaten.  Just one.  Just one - from every bowl.  Just one - fr

Breaking down a craving….

I’m sitting here at work – my tummy’s relatively full of a delicious lunch – half a tuna sandwich and 2 satsuma oranges. I’ve been drinking my water and I’ve got no complaints…except there’s a rumbling in my brain. Bread. My brain wants bread. Any kind of bread. Toast would be nice. But a bagel would work – toasted just enough. The topping doesn’t matter. Crackers would work but they’re on the Abstain list. But as I examine this craving I break it down. Why? I mean why bread, why now – why? I try and think of what PART of the bread I’m craving – the texture? The flavor? The chewing? The hunger? I can’t put my finger on it. There’s no solid reason for wanting some bread right now. I mean, it does taste good – but food is for hunger. And I’m not hungry. And it smells good – but so does an orange or a pear or the roma tomatoes I have in the work fridge here. Is there some correlation to needing the carbs? Some mysterious blood sugar foreshadowing? I’d like to think that if my brai

I let an anniversary go by and what they don't tell you about weightloss surgery

I've been spending less time online at home - I get email on my phone so I delete the junk and save the rest to read on the laptop at home.  Last night I finally got to my email and there was one that I had glanced at on my phone but hadn't read.  "congratulations on your WLS anniversary" Oh ya.  I kind of forgot.  I often forget I'm a bypass patient.  Especially when I still struggle every day with food and food choices.  But they don't tell the whole story when you hear about weightloss surgery - it deals with the physical aspects of over eating. But leaves the rest of it - and that's a mighty amount - to surface later. My story: At 300+ pounds, I had the usual trouble that comes with obesity – walking up stairs, finding decent clothes, self esteem, and health problems. I had sleep apnea that was ruining my life and my health. I had 2 small children I couldn’t keep up with. I was losing hope rapidly. I first started researching Gastric Bypass

NSV while in Vegas - the one that made me cry...

so - first I need to give a little back story here.  A group of women friends and I used to go to Vegas once a year for a motorcycle event called Femmoto - it was heavenly.  All the manufacturers were there to allow us to test ride their latest motorcycles on the Las Vegas race track.  Heavenly I tell you.  Several years ago, after a long day at the track, we all headed back to our hotels to freshen up and then hit the town.  The first part of the evening was to be spent shopping...you can see where this is going.  Let me just add that on the day I left for my trip, my work informed me that I wouldn't have a job when I returned.  Thanks a-holes.  The trip was already paid for so we went anyway.  I was tired, we'd just stuffed our faces at a buffet (my friends range in size from amazingly in shape to very normal - I was by far the largest - probably 225 or so at the time).  We hit a few of the shops where I watched everyone else in the group go in, try stuff on, bond in the us

Update #2 - weigh in and pictures!

So I weighed in this morning - 192.2 Yes, I actually went on vacation and came home LIGHTER - I'm more excited than I can begin to explain.  So many times - even at home - I feel like I'm on track, doing all the right things, get on the scale and WHAM - no loss or a gain for no explainable reason.  So the fact that I was able to stay on track AND lose weight while on vacation...that reinforces the fact that abstinence is working for me.  Long term.  Here are some progress pictures: 192.2 pounds my butt isn't just smaller but the dimpling is going away - I'm amazed - simply amazed! Say hello to my boxer dog: Houdini! My Calves!!  I can't get a good shot...but this gives you some idea... Work in the morning - after a week off (I've never taken a week off before!) - I'm not looking forward to it but oh well - got to pay the bills! Time to go watch a movie and hang out with hubby! TTFN, LauraLynne

Update #1 - measurements!

Ok - I'm home, doing laundry - dropped the kids off with their dad (he was high, he takes massive doses of painkillers - pained ME to leave them there).  Now I'm chilling - and I stepped gingerly on the scale and it's down - I'll have an "official" weigh in tomorrow morning since after dinner and at night doesn't really count...I just couldn't stop myself!  On to update #1 - measurements.  Arms: last month 14.5, this month 14.5 - no change in measurement but I see more definition! Bust: last month 41, this month 40.5 (my husband groaned LOL) Hips: last month 45, this month 43 - 2 inches gone!!  Boot camp is really paying off!!  I'll have to find a substitute for when my sessions are used up! Thighs: last month 26, this month 24.5 - 1.5" gone - holy moley I'm excited! Calves: last month 17.5, this month 17 - "only" .5" but the definition is amazing - I'll try and take photos Stay tuned as I work furiously on gett

lots of exciting news!

but you're going to have to wait!  We're heading home tomorrow - where I'll get to catch up on blogging, laundry, chores, and drop my kids off with their dad.  I'm nervous about getting on the scale for the first time in a week - but I've been eating well, making great choices (including NOT having chocolate cake which is everywhere I look down here!).  We're walking 10 or so miles a day, no snacking - the only down fall is that the water down here tastes HORRIBLE and so I've not been drinking enough which, contrary to what you'd think, causes me to bloat!!  I have several NSV - a few that made me cry even!  but I'm typing on the end of the bed, I've got about 14 hours of vacation left...and I'm logging off!! TTFN, LauraLynne

Restaurant Rant! @#$%#%$@%

Ok.  I'll start this with admitting that since I've been watching what I eat, I'm more sensitive to portion sizes.  I also have to admit that I'm a cheap B&tch.  I'll also admit that I rarely go out to new restaurants - I have my faves at home that I stick to. So - here in Vegas we're in a room without a fridge/microwave (note to self, next time spend the pennies to upgrade).  So my plan for groceries and some meals in the room didn't go as planned.  C'est La Vie. So we are eating in restaurants for every meal.  And let me just say - I'm shocked.  And grossed out.  For breakfast this morning the SMALLEST offering was a 4 egg omlet.  Lunch I ate a salad - normal portion size - but the sandwiches offered were 12" only - no 6" sandwich even offered!   And dinner tonight was the final straw.  I ordered the smallest (and cheapest) meal on the menu.  Prime Rib - $12.99.  A fatty selection but everything else had sauce, gravy, or deep frie

Checking in from Vegas. Food pictures!

So far I've walked more than 10 miles in 2 days, made good food choices, both in quantity and quality. I'm paying dearly for it! $10 for a salad or $5 for a burger and fries is a real moral dilemma for me!! To keep track of what I'm eating, I'm trying to take pictures of everything! So here you go (note: I don't eat dressing on my salads so while there might be dressing in picture, I didn't eat it) (BLT no mayo, I took the extra bread out and only ate 3/4 of it and didn't touch the fries that were served with it) Crappy neon lighting but 4 egg omelet was the SMALLEST breakfast offered!! I ate 1/4 if it, one 1/2 of the toast, and none if the hash browns. $2 apple!! It had better taste amazing!!! TTFN, LauraLynne

at the airport - and my vacation 'plan'

Sitting here at the airport at *mumble mumble* time in the morning...I'm excited for our vacation and - at the same time - really nervous.  None of the normal routine - none of my usual foods, no kitchen of my own, all eating out.  This sounds like  a recipe for disaster...but I'm trying to stay positive.  I packed a separate bag with my work out gear - it's one of my carry ons so at least if they lose my luggage, I can still work out, right?  And I created a one week training plan - mostly running since Las Vegas is fairly flat this might be a good opportunity to get in some longer runs.  And I'm determined to make smart choices when I eat.  But 5 days.  I can't say I'm not a little worried.  I've been sliding a little lately - I've been really tired, on the verge of going in and having my iron and other blood levels checked.  And tired is a huge trigger for me.  So toast has been disappearing at my house.  It's not candy, it's not chips, an

No candy here!! And a breakfast lesson!

I never bought any - I was the Halloween GRINCH this year.  Well, not on purpose.  I kind of forgot it was halloween.  My kids were  both busy (teenagers...) and we spent the day going out to breakfast - interesting story there - then a nap (not on purpose!), then off to the gun range for a little pistol shooting (My first time shooting a pistol and I did great!!)  This was done with a .45 Then we headed to church for their 6:30 service and only as we were driving home did I realize it was Halloween!  It was dark out by then and the trick or treaters were dwindling so I put on my Grinch hat and drove right past the grocery store and left the front light off.  I'm pretty sure nobody was going hungy in our neighborhood on account of missing out on one tiny candy from our house.  And no leftovers!!  WIN!! So - yesterday's breakfast lesson.  After a hectic morning - fighting with my 16 year old daughter really takes the wind out of my sails - we decided that instead of being late

impulse eating better today - and a rant about my ex. husband

I thought I was going to lose it yesterday and this morning - it's been the hardest struggle yet.  I'm tired - I've had a cold for several weeks now, just low grade cough, chest congestion.  This week it got worse - I'm not sleeping well so I'm exhausted all. the. time.  I took it easy on working out this week hoping that some extra rest would help but it's not helping AND I'm not going to meet my OctoberFAST goals - it's close, but the swim and run are both going to be short.  I'm not beating myself up over it so that's a relief.  I ate reasonably today - and cooked - which always helps!  I had an egg white scramble this morning and a protein bar between workouts.  And now I've got taco soup in the crockpot just waiting for hubby to get home.  There's leftover corn bread too but I didn't like the couple bites I took yesterday so only 'soup' it is (it's a taco meat chili more or less...).  Lots to stress about around h

Friday night - I made it through!

Must be PMS - but everything is calling my name.  Work was hard - but I made it.  Grocery shopping was hard - but I made it.  Dinner was good and now I'm snacking on a few almonds - but I'm making it!!  Tomorrow is boot camp and a long bike ride - the bike ride will put me at goal for my OctoberFAST challenge and I'll need to get a good swim in as well.   Starting Monday, after OctoberFAST, I will be reducing my training schedule.  The frequency will be less and the distances just slightly longer.  I'm having a hard time committing to the frequency - but the distances are all manageble.  So I'm changing it up a little.  I'm still planning on a half ironman next summer so the training is still neccassary. Food wise I'm struggling a little - I've got cravings, if you can call it that...I really want candy and junk.  It's been life saving to be abstaining from them.  My brain has been pulling out the old tricks...you can have just one...you can stop

What I'm up against today

TTFN, LauraLynne

hard day - food struggles...

Today is our annual Halloween chili cookoff.   I've been helping set it up.  Which is fine except - I'm hungry.  Not physically hungry.  Maybe a little physically hungry - but emotionally I want to start eating now and not stop until 5pm.  There's chips and chili and cornbread and candy corn.  Taffy too!  And I've walked past the bowl of candy no less than a dozen times and I'm on the verge of duct taping my arms to my side.  They seem to reach out to the bowl on their very own - as if possessed! Hey - maybe that's it!! I'm haunted by my 300 pound former self!  Is anyone here an exorcist - I need one STAT!!  Ok.  Here's the deal.  I brought my good ol' Turkey Chili as an entry.  I know it's healthy.  I know the calories.  And I know it's tasty.  So I'll stick with that.  And water.  My bottle of water should weight my arm down enough to avoid the candy corn.  Have I mentioned that Candy Corn is my Kryptonite?  I've avoided it in

My husband's cooking experiment

My husband can cook.  I've seen him!!  And he cooked for himself before I met him... So, tonight, when I was on my way home, we talked on the phone about dinner possibilities.  I mentioned some hamburger than needed cooked and walked him through how to defrost it in the microwave.  So for the rest of the ride home I'm day dreaming of hamburger and a few finger potatoes broiled with seasoning salt....yum!!  I've just run almost 6 miles and I'm hungry! I arrive home as he's putting the defrosted and crumbled hamburger in a fry pan.  Not the patties on the George Forman as I was envisioning...but I'm not cooking so I'm not putting my opinion in there.  I settle in on my computer, start checking out blogs, and then duck back into the kitchen to refill my water bottle.  He hands me my dinner plate:  about 2oz of hamburger and some peas....I moan about the small hamburger portion and he mysteriously comments "you need to try it first -  tried somethin

sick day - catch up day - abstaining from food notes

so yesterday I got the message loud and clear.  So here it is 3:30 in the afternoon, I'm only JUST getting out of bed, emailed work about a sick day this morning, and generally not feeling great.  So...I'll catch up on blogs while listening to Hulu - right?  :) I'm a little frustrated by internet filters at work - during slow times I can read other blogs but I can't comment - for some reason, commenting is blocked.  Now I have to figure out how to "bookmark" the ones I want to comment on from home!  Suggestions?? Meanwhile, I've been blogging extensively about my training - but not so much about my food issues - which are still alive and well.  Some things I'm doing well on - candy's tempting but not overwhelmingly so, I've turned to almonds for a quick snack vs. a bag of chips.  A reasonable alternative in my book.  Sugar is ok - I'm still struggling with how to replace the "you deserve a treat" thoughts that hit me quite oft

Bike a fever, jog a cold?

That's not the saying exactly but that's what I've been trying to do. I'm teetering on the edge of a nasty chest cold. Tonight's run I finally raised the white flag and walked the 3 miles instead of running 7 as planned. I'm learning how to be more flexible. Slowly. I'm so determined in everything I do that it's hard to accept anything less than 100%. Even at a steep cost. So, tonight I walked. And now I'm going to slice up an apple, shut off the computer, and probably fall asleep before 9pm. A full three hours earlier than normal. But tomorrow is boot camp...if I don't roll over and go back to sleep. Cough cough! Night everyone! TTFN, LauraLynne

Friday's weigh in and challenge updates!

Challenge updates!  Also known as "making progress" or "chugging along!"   OctoberFast Goals: swim: 24,000 yards bike: 200 miles run: 50 miles Total so far: Week 1 swim: 8450 yards bike: 50.4 miles run: 17.92 miles Week 2 Swim: 12,250 yards Bike: 65.4 miles run: 22.92 miles Week 3 totals: Swim: 17,100 yards (6900 to go) Bike: 164.86 miles (46.14 to go) run: 31.11 (18.89 to go) This was a big week for totals - especially the bike.  My training plan is broken into weekly goals: Base - which is maintaining my endurance Build - building endurance Recovery - also exactly what it sounds like This week was a build week so the distances were a little longer.  This week is the same.  So baring burnout, injury or acts of nature, I will make all my OctoberFAST goals!!  I'm super excited for this because, honestly, when I set them and looked at the numbers, it seemed pretty unlikely.  But I'm not someone to shy away from challenges (um - have

How much is too much??

I may have found it today ....  to much of what you ask?? Too much to do. Too much to think about. Too much to plan. Too much working out. I'm tired.  Tired of thinking, planning, doing, working out.  I'm tired of fighting my brain over stupid stuff:  Ice Cream is NOT ok.  I do NOT deserve a treat right now.  Today's plan was: bootcamp, bike ride, swimming.  Sounds like a normal day in my life.  More or less. Where I went wrong:  got out the door late (you try loading a bike into a tiny VW before you're awake!), didn't have time to grab some breakfast, realized I forgot gloves so I texted my husband to meet me after bootcamp and before bike ride with them.  Did bootcamp - have been trying to ramp it up a little and mximize the benfit.  Went out to car after to head to bike meet up (group ride with local bike shop - I was finally going to be on TIME with a bike that WORKED!).  Got a text from hubby - he's at the wrong meeting point with my gloves!  He

My Brain is playing tricks on me...

Ok. So seriously. This is the internal conversation that just happened. Like inside my head. (Looks around for the men in white...and writes "sugar free pudding ONLY" in sharpie on my hand). I have a bit of a scratchy throat - not bad. But here's the conversation: Evil Side: "you know, if you get sick you get to lay in bed for a day - no swimming, no biking, no running - just blankets and sleeping!" New Me: "but I LIKE swimming, biking, and sometimes even running" Evil Side: "but if you're sick, you get to lay in bed and eat Candy!" New Me: "oh no you didn't!!!" Yup. Really. Certifiable. I know. Stay tuned for Challenge updates and a weigh in!!  TTFN, LauraLynne

Made that track my BITCH!!

Ran it. Killed it. 2.68 miles. Average pace: 11:53min/miles Negative voices can SHOVE IT!! Booyah!!! TTFN, LauraLynne