How many of you can relate to this:
You're at a friend's house...or somewhere not close to home at least. And you're cold. Or you spill something. Or...well, you know that feeling. You need a change of clothes and have nothing spare with you. Helpfully, your friends say to you "I have *fill in the blank* you can borrow".
And you get that feeling.
You look at your friend, you think about the last time you stepped on the scale. You do the math, that feeling get stronger and becomes physical. Your brain races.
What do I say, how do I get out of this gracefully.
"Thanks, I'll be fine"
"I appreciate it but that color looks bad on me"
"I'm used to stains, in fact I kind of like them"
"thank you for thinking of me but I don't think that will fit"
Inside you're crying. Embarassment, frustration, just to name a few of the strong emotions now flowing through you. Part of being "normal" is to be able to put on someone coat when you're cold - not just hold it over your shoulders (or do a bad Chris Farley Tommy Boy imitation).
You know your friend MEANS well and has NO idea the storm of emotion they just released inside of you. They have no idea the avalache of negative feelings their act of kindness has started.
We've all been there. Right? As a kid they searched through the lost and find to find something that would work when I ripped out the butt of my jeans on the playground. In PE in high school we searched high and low for something I could borrow when the seams on the inner thigh of my sweats gave up the ghost ... again. I used to sew those damn things up when my thighs rubbed the seams away - and sewing them up meant giving up another precious 1/2" of material I desperately needed. It was a losing battle me and the PE sweats. But I wasn't about to ask for a larger size from my mom. No way.
So - enough reliving high school PE class. Oh lord. I'm so sorry I brought you all along on that trip!
Flash forward *mumbelty* years and today we were at a friend's house. They have a pool and all the kids were swimming, playing, and splashing around. And the host offered for the adults to join in. None of us brought suits though....so she offered her stash of "borrow suit"
UGH. *insert habitul flood of feelings here*
After most of the families had left, our exchange student and my son went back in the pool for another round of horsing around. I watched mournfully and finally thought "well, I'll just have a look at what suits she has in there"
There was a 16!! I was psyched - and a 12, an 8, and some other suits. So I went back to check on our time schedule, make sure we weren't overstaying our welcome, and verified that I could borrow a suit for a splash. I went in to put on a suit - the 16 was out of the question - it was so big it wasn't going to stay on in the water. The 12 was ok - streched out and not really for a big chested woman but it was going to work. I wasn't even brave enough to try on the 8. I was elated to fit into a borrowed anything and didn't want to push my luck.
So - I went back out - in a borrowed BATHING SUIT - and swam around in the pool with my son and our exchange student for awhile. The grin more about the suit and the lack of negative emotional flood.
I might not have it all figured out but today, I'm doing ok.
TTFN,
LauraLynne
You're at a friend's house...or somewhere not close to home at least. And you're cold. Or you spill something. Or...well, you know that feeling. You need a change of clothes and have nothing spare with you. Helpfully, your friends say to you "I have *fill in the blank* you can borrow".
And you get that feeling.
You look at your friend, you think about the last time you stepped on the scale. You do the math, that feeling get stronger and becomes physical. Your brain races.
What do I say, how do I get out of this gracefully.
"Thanks, I'll be fine"
"I appreciate it but that color looks bad on me"
"I'm used to stains, in fact I kind of like them"
"thank you for thinking of me but I don't think that will fit"
Inside you're crying. Embarassment, frustration, just to name a few of the strong emotions now flowing through you. Part of being "normal" is to be able to put on someone coat when you're cold - not just hold it over your shoulders (or do a bad Chris Farley Tommy Boy imitation).
You know your friend MEANS well and has NO idea the storm of emotion they just released inside of you. They have no idea the avalache of negative feelings their act of kindness has started.
We've all been there. Right? As a kid they searched through the lost and find to find something that would work when I ripped out the butt of my jeans on the playground. In PE in high school we searched high and low for something I could borrow when the seams on the inner thigh of my sweats gave up the ghost ... again. I used to sew those damn things up when my thighs rubbed the seams away - and sewing them up meant giving up another precious 1/2" of material I desperately needed. It was a losing battle me and the PE sweats. But I wasn't about to ask for a larger size from my mom. No way.
So - enough reliving high school PE class. Oh lord. I'm so sorry I brought you all along on that trip!
Flash forward *mumbelty* years and today we were at a friend's house. They have a pool and all the kids were swimming, playing, and splashing around. And the host offered for the adults to join in. None of us brought suits though....so she offered her stash of "borrow suit"
UGH. *insert habitul flood of feelings here*
After most of the families had left, our exchange student and my son went back in the pool for another round of horsing around. I watched mournfully and finally thought "well, I'll just have a look at what suits she has in there"
There was a 16!! I was psyched - and a 12, an 8, and some other suits. So I went back to check on our time schedule, make sure we weren't overstaying our welcome, and verified that I could borrow a suit for a splash. I went in to put on a suit - the 16 was out of the question - it was so big it wasn't going to stay on in the water. The 12 was ok - streched out and not really for a big chested woman but it was going to work. I wasn't even brave enough to try on the 8. I was elated to fit into a borrowed anything and didn't want to push my luck.
So - I went back out - in a borrowed BATHING SUIT - and swam around in the pool with my son and our exchange student for awhile. The grin more about the suit and the lack of negative emotional flood.
I might not have it all figured out but today, I'm doing ok.
TTFN,
LauraLynne
Comments
I hope your doing well!
Shannon - The Me Within