Skip to main content

Day 2...things I struggle with

Struggles - not much about eating is easy or fun for me. Cooking and baking - that part I love. Eating? Not so much. Not to say I don't enjoy it but it's such a grab basket of emotions that it becomes a chore. So I tend to block out when I'm eating.
Anyone else out there reach down for another bite and find that at some point between when you started eating and that fuzzy period to now, you've finished your food. The meal you vowed to enjoy, the snack you spent the morning planning and thinking about - gone. It's almost a black out - and you didn't get to enjoy a single bite. And now, if you're lucky, you're full and have to wait until the next meal/snack to eat again. Or not. I overeat. Even with gastric bypass. Not as much as before - but eating when you're not hungry is technically overeating, regardless of quantity.
I struggle with obsession. There are some foods that I obsess about. And they're not always predictable. Oh sure - chocolate can disstract me from nearly anything. But sometimes it's a juicy steak, or a loaded baked potato, or even a diet soda. My brain likes to take a simple thought, a small picture, the mention of a word - and turn it into a "GOT TO HAVE IT NOW" obsession. It's this habit that I so often struggle with. There are aisles in the grocery store that I just have to avoid (or RUSH through!!) when I'm eating healthy.
One of the best pieces of advice someone once gave me was "If you buy it, you will eat it." And it's so true!! I currently have a pack of cookies at my house. And they've been there for awhile. But I crave them, I obsess about them - and I've given in once. It was easier when the package wasn't open. But now that it is, it's like "game on" i ate 7 the first time (but did log them!) and last night I treated myself to 3 of them (on the log as well - so that's progress).
But the fact that I ate the first 4 after making sure nobody was listening, stealthily opening the package and eating them in secret.
Ya - I got issues. I know.

ending this on a more positive note: I do not struggle with drinking large quantities of water. I do not struggle with eating in front of people. I can't think of anything else. Surely there's more that I do NOT struggle with.
or not.

TTFN
LauraLynne

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Today starts no sugar

This feels harder than no candy and no chips. And it started by throwing the oreos in the GARBAGE. And not the trash at my house - no, these went into the trash at the bus stop. Bye bye. (I'm imagining some homeless dude chowing down on his amazing find...) Now I need to grocery shop and fill my house with fruits and veggies! TTFN, LauraLynne

Time to come clean - and start blogging again with NEWS!

I've been avoiding the blogging world - for a couple reasons.  My eating has been horrible.  Well, maybe not horrible but definately not brag-worthy or blog-worthy.  I've been embarassed at how much I've regressed back into old eating habits. The other reason is I've been keeping a secret but it's time to come clean.  I've been gaining weight - only a little - and with my doctor's full permission.  As of today, I'm 16weeks 4 days pregnant, and this one's here to stay!  I'm excited.  And nervous. And sick as a dog with morning sickness.  I've used all of the above as an excuse to jump off the wagon (and load it with junk food to drag around with me all day).  I've had chips and candy and sugar - and not in small quantities.  I now weight 205.  Up from 190.  But holding steady and fully aware of the changes I need to make - again. Mostly my problem is that I have morning sickness 24 hours a day.  It's like really bad mot...

Pride - and why I'm grinning like a fool

So - first of all - today I got dressed and came to work.   Just another Monday.  Nothing usual there.  Until a co-worker commented on how it's time for me to go shopping.  So I head into the bathroom and look into the full length mirror.  Sure enough, I look like the incredible shrinking woman.  My pants and sweater are too big.  I'm not complaining - this is indeed bragging.  It's time to donate some of my stuff.  I'm a little scared to.  What if...well, I'm sure you all know the paragraph that comes after that.  So tonight I will weed through the clothes and donate the too big stuff. I will  NOT go back.  This journey is about moving forward. And on the pride note - several people at work know I'm losing weight, most of them know I'm running and participating in races.  A few of them know I've done races in the past (triathalons).  There's one guy that stopped me in the kitchen awhile back and we we...