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backing away from the ledge....

Things are definately getting better again - my OA group isn't meeting tomorrow night so I'll have to be disciplined and sit down for awhile on my own and work through more of my action writing for step 4.  Meanwhile, I'm feeling more under control.  I had lots of negative feelings leading up to my binge on Sunday.  Monday was hard to keep it all from completely going downhill - it is always so much easier to just throw the towel in, admit that you can't reach your goal, and eat to my hearts delight.  I had been thinking a LOT about the foods I miss.  I was making shopping lists in my head - and even went to the grocery store.  I premptively took my husband and quietly shopped for healthy foods while mentally shopping for the foods I wanted.  I still need to plan out more meals for the week, I've got some good stuff here but not enough to make several meals and lunches like I usually do.  But I will. 
Tonight I did my training plan - 2.5 miles.  Well, it was really a little less than that - but 39 minutes of running.  My husband went with me and insisted that I kicked his butt.  I think he's just being nice.  Mathmatically, it's so much easier for him to run.  Someone can do the math but his legs are 8" longer than mine.  And at 5'-10" and 205 pounds, he's not carrying as much extra weight as me.  But he took our dog with us for the first halr and then dropped the dog off and jogged along for the second loop.  It was kind of fun - he pushes me in a very lovely way.  Challenging me to run a little harder, a little longer.  He loves me and it shows in everything we do together.

Well, it's weigh ins for Biggest Loser - time to go cheer them ALL on!!  (PS.  How frustrating is it to be disappointed with a FIVE pound weight loss - that's the worst part of the show for me is that these contestants work so hard and lose SO much weight.  When they're under pressure and lose 5 pounds in one week and still don't "win" - there's something so basically WRONG WITH THAT!! ok.  enough ranting, time to go snuggle with the hubby and watch some TV)

TTFN,
LauraLynne

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