Skip to main content

My son the comdedian

Last night I finally made it to the grocery store. I have oodles of healthy food and meals planned! On a whim, instead of the healthy pantry meals, I decided to cook tacos last night. My son gave his exuberant yahoo over the announcement and I continued with "but I saw a really cool idea-instaed of taco shells, I'm putting them in lettuce leaves!"
My son's face fell and he told me "mom, that's NOT a taco, that's a meat salad!"
I'm counting the 5 minutes of laughing as exercise.
I did buy shells for the family but my tacos we on lettuce leaves:


In other, not so funny news, my brain was playing tricks on me yesterday. After I wrote about how successful this week's been in term of how I think about food, I started to slip back into old mental habits. Like a switch had been flipped. I was prepared though and determined to figure out why.

And I did, I think. My brain did acknowledge the success. But it interpreted it as being done. As if I'd reached the finish line and there was a free buffet. I've never been successful at changing my thinking about food before - I've been able to diet and lose weight but never addressed the addiction side of the problem. So this is all new territory for me. And it's interesting to be able to so clearly recognize the old patterns. I know it's not always going to work like this. I'm going to have days when my brain finds new ways to trick me into old habits. And there will be days I fall back into them. But yesterday was a good lesson.
And I'm still filled with hope.
And I packed lunches for the rest of the week. I'm trying out sandwich thins...I haven't heard a bad review yet. I will report back!


TTFN,
LauraLynne

Comments

Tina said…
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm adding you to my blog roll and plan on keeping up. You have done an amazing job. I too am working away at mental part of this journey. I thought I was doing really well until I was in pain and turned to chocolate chip cookies.
Tiff said…
I've been meaning to try the taco leaf thing- now it's official- I need to! You are doing great- def something to celebrate :)

Popular posts from this blog

day 1 no sugar...again.... and finding an OA meeting

Today I read a blog that really finally pushed me over the edge.  In a good way.  I NEED OA.  I went to the meetings with my church group, got started, really had some good break throughs, but I can't do this on my own.  I need to quit dinking around and find a meeting to go to.  It won't be a quick fix, but I'm really struggling with the food addiction part on my own.  And recently I've been lecturing a friend about their husband's addiction.  His addiction is gambling - and he's stooped to stealing from family it's that bad.  And he goes to meetings but - as she tells me - they don't HAVE 12 steps there, it's "too complicated with all the religion stuff."  So I've been preaching the 12 step program to her...hypocritical of me since I haven't followed through on my own meetings.  Today I find a meeting and by this time next week, I will attend a meeting. I am powerless over sugar.  Last night after I blogged about day whatever ...

PHEW - She's a Brick....hoooouse....no, wait.

Ok.  So tonight I planned on running.  Came home, sat down for  little while.  Forced myself to get up and put on my running clothes.  Went out the front door...was NOT feeling it.  Came back inside disppointed.  Sat down.  Got up, changed shoes, pulled out the spinner (stationary bike) and put a scary movie on.  Biked for 1 hour 3 minutes.  about 1 hour 2 min. in I decided I was going to put in a mile run afterwards - in triathalon training it's called a "brick".  It's meant to simulate the transition from one event to another.  From swim to bike or from bike to run.  Doing a brick teaches you just how it feels - in this case my legs were JELLO from the biking.  But I ran.  One mile.  in 12 min. 42 seconds - not too shabby!!  But better than that - I broke my streak of "nothing".  And I had a good dinner, one piece of flatbread pizza and a large tomato salad (no pictures, sorry).  About 200...

two thumbs up from the Russian judge...

So, tonight, after a put a batch of Taco soup in the crock pot, I headed out for my training run.  4 miles.  I say that self depreciatingly - you just can't READ that online.  ONLY 4 miles.  MERELY 4 miles.  Not running the whole way, just intervals.  Anything to take the credit or joy out of it.  The reality is I should be proud.  SHOULD be.  But my stupid head tells me "It's only 4 miles.  and you're not RUNNING all of it - don't be fooled, you're still fat, you can't run, so don't you dare be proud, even for a moment" STUPID STUPID STUPID. I should be proud.  I should at least not be so damn hard on myself.  As I was typing the above words out loud, the insulting ones, a thought popped into my head that made my eyes water a little.  That voice.  It was my dad's.  Never good enough. Never smart enough. Never responsible enough. Never clean enough. Just Never Enough.  That should have been my nam...