Skip to main content

small victores (and another weekend in the bag...)

I'm feeling so much more hopefull these days.  I still have moments of struggle - times I want to snack, grocery stores, and letting myself get too hungry - but I've had more successful moments than struggles.  This weekend we had a brunch with friends and an impromptu restaurant meal.  Both dangerous times for me.  For the brunch, I planned out what I would eat before I even got there.  And I stuck to it.  Even with BACON available.  And homemade cinnamon rolls - that I made!!
The restaurant was a chinese place - family style.  I ordered sensibly so that there would be one dish I was sure to be able to eat and we skipped all appetizers.  That was actually harder:  I was VERY hungry by the time we got there and I wanted something, anything, and I wanted it *NOW*.  But our food came out mercifully quickly.  And I portioned out what I thought was healthy - and I didn't snitch after that.  We even took leftovers home!  That rarely happens...we are the "clean plate" family. 
Slow but steady changes.  I'm finding the positive side of things.  I'm finding hope.  I'm recognizing success.  But I am prepared for backwards slides.  They are part of the process.

I had a dream last night about running - I had to save someone and I ran, sprinted really, to do it.  In my dream, I was focused on running, not on saving the man.  And it felt glorious.  This week I will make tinme in my schedule to start running. 

On a probably too personal note - today I get my IUD removed.  I've had it in for the max. time and have read and been told that the hormones on the IUD slow your metabolism and cause weight gain.  Not that I have any excuses - I know that most of my fat looks like Nascar cars: "Frito Lay", "Mars", and "Ben and Jerry" sponsor stickers everywhere...but if having the IUD helps me boost my metabolism at this point, I'm all for it!! 

Here's to a successful week for everyone!! 

TTFN,
LauraLynne

Comments

Amy said…
LOL!! your comment on your fat cracked me up! Hormones WILL definitely slow ya down.. great call on that, girl!!

And a super awesome job on planning ahead your meals... wee hooo!!!
March 8, 2010 at 10:45 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

day 1 no sugar...again.... and finding an OA meeting

Today I read a blog that really finally pushed me over the edge.  In a good way.  I NEED OA.  I went to the meetings with my church group, got started, really had some good break throughs, but I can't do this on my own.  I need to quit dinking around and find a meeting to go to.  It won't be a quick fix, but I'm really struggling with the food addiction part on my own.  And recently I've been lecturing a friend about their husband's addiction.  His addiction is gambling - and he's stooped to stealing from family it's that bad.  And he goes to meetings but - as she tells me - they don't HAVE 12 steps there, it's "too complicated with all the religion stuff."  So I've been preaching the 12 step program to her...hypocritical of me since I haven't followed through on my own meetings.  Today I find a meeting and by this time next week, I will attend a meeting. I am powerless over sugar.  Last night after I blogged about day whatever ...
10 comments
Read more

PHEW - She's a Brick....hoooouse....no, wait.

Ok.  So tonight I planned on running.  Came home, sat down for  little while.  Forced myself to get up and put on my running clothes.  Went out the front door...was NOT feeling it.  Came back inside disppointed.  Sat down.  Got up, changed shoes, pulled out the spinner (stationary bike) and put a scary movie on.  Biked for 1 hour 3 minutes.  about 1 hour 2 min. in I decided I was going to put in a mile run afterwards - in triathalon training it's called a "brick".  It's meant to simulate the transition from one event to another.  From swim to bike or from bike to run.  Doing a brick teaches you just how it feels - in this case my legs were JELLO from the biking.  But I ran.  One mile.  in 12 min. 42 seconds - not too shabby!!  But better than that - I broke my streak of "nothing".  And I had a good dinner, one piece of flatbread pizza and a large tomato salad (no pictures, sorry).  About 200...
10 comments
Read more

two thumbs up from the Russian judge...

So, tonight, after a put a batch of Taco soup in the crock pot, I headed out for my training run.  4 miles.  I say that self depreciatingly - you just can't READ that online.  ONLY 4 miles.  MERELY 4 miles.  Not running the whole way, just intervals.  Anything to take the credit or joy out of it.  The reality is I should be proud.  SHOULD be.  But my stupid head tells me "It's only 4 miles.  and you're not RUNNING all of it - don't be fooled, you're still fat, you can't run, so don't you dare be proud, even for a moment" STUPID STUPID STUPID. I should be proud.  I should at least not be so damn hard on myself.  As I was typing the above words out loud, the insulting ones, a thought popped into my head that made my eyes water a little.  That voice.  It was my dad's.  Never good enough. Never smart enough. Never responsible enough. Never clean enough. Just Never Enough.  That should have been my nam...
6 comments
Read more