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whole new wardrobe!

Or at least it feels like it - my mom is cleaning out her closets.  yes, plural.  All my clothes fit in 1/2 a standard closet.  With room left over.  I'm not a big shopper, I'm not very fashionable, if it's clean and it buttons/zips/fits then I'm happy.  Well, for the second time recently, my mom had me come over and pick up her donation clothes.  And she's got great taste - casual, which is perfect for me!  Last night's pick up included 3 great winter coats - one that's dressy even!  There's probably a dozen t-shirts (no motorcycle logos - I'm sure my co-workers will be relieved!), several pairs of cotton Capri's, some sweaters, couple pairs of pants...and I can't even remember what else!  I'm not sure where I'm going to put all this but I'm excited to have choices - and choices that fit! 
My mom's smaller than I am - similarly shaped (big bottomed, tapered waist) - and a LOT taller than me (5 or so inches - damn my dad's genetics for being so dominant!!).  But her clothes fit me!!  Why am I so excited?  Well, because I've always seen my mom as slimmer than me and I've never been able to share clothes with her.  This is new territory for me.  And makes me smile. 
This morning I gambled with some of the new clothes.  I had to get my swim in before work - hair appointment tonight - so I packed my gear bag with clothes for work, laid my swim suit and a pair of Capri's on top and was ready for an early (YAWN) morning swim.
Well - the pants I packed were from my mom yesterday - and I never tried them on.  I gambled they would fit.  After swimming, I held them up to me - my mind's eye thinking they were too small and would never fit. 

Well - guess what I'm comfortably wearing right now!!! 

Yup.  My mom's old pants.  They fit great!  It was risky to assume they would fit but I really wanted to step out of my comfort zone.  I really want to try and get my mind caught up to the size my body is - not the size it was.  Easier said than done.  I still look around at other blogger's pictures - size 12 looks beautiful on them - why can't I accept that the label isnt' WRONG in my jeans?  Allowing my brain to compare myself to other people size 12 and accept that I AM looking better - sometimes even great - these days.  It's like having a ghost image.  Remember the old TV's that if you left the emergency pattern on overnight (OK you young people - just pretend you know what I'm talking about), then your TV screen would have a ghost image of that pattern on when you went to watch TV the next day.  I think computer monitors do that too - hence "screensavers".  So when I look in the mirror - the image I've seen for so long is still there - ghostly but there. 
I'm working on it though.  Taking the chance of going to work with no pants on.  Because that's how *I* roll!  Haha. 

Comments

Allan said…
Keep working on it. Same problem here, and I am sure we are not alone. It is a great problem to have by the way !!!
October 5, 2010 at 9:02 AM
Amanda Kiska said…
Whenever I try something on that doesn't fit and then try it on a month later and it does fit, I always think it must have really fit before because I couldn't be any smaller. I also will fit into a smaller size and assume the clothes are cut big and not really that size (even when ALL my clothes are that size!) It is weird how we doubt our eyes. Enjoy your 12's!
October 5, 2010 at 9:41 AM
Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said…
I always look at clothes and think they aren't possibly gonna fit. When I go shopping, I naturally gravitate toward the size I was... not the size I am, because in my mind I still feel bigger. I'm still surprised when I look in the mirror or see a picture where I don't look quite so big... funny how the mind works.
October 5, 2010 at 12:39 PM
Jesus Living Daily said…
I'm really happen for you, this is a great feeling for sure. I have a whole section of clothes in my closet waiting to play with me again....
October 5, 2010 at 5:43 PM
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