Skip to main content

I just want to say..

I'm having a super shitty day and I'm pissed off because I can't eat my troubles away.  And while I DO know that after eating the trouble only multiplies - I'm still pissed off.  I want my food back.

*stomping my foot*

Who can I sue for this craptastic hand I was dealt and this stupid addiction.  Why can't I be normal and - well - hell if I even know what normal IS!?!  

Ok.  Deep breath.  Back to my lunch of a salad and some brown rice.  I'll just pretend it's giant heaping spoonfulls of mac and cheese, cheesy potato mushroom bake, and a family size bag of chips. 

PS.  Does anyone want a 16 year old school skipping but otherwise pretty good teenage girl????  Please?!!  Disclaimer:  She likely has the same food addictions and binge tendencies I do. 


TTFN,
LauraLynne

Comments

Dr. Fat To Fit said…
Sorry you're having one of those days. I have them too. I came in to the office and there were 2 big tubs of yummy bagels and flavored cream cheese. Bastards. Hang in there. As far as the 16 year old...busy enough with my nearly 13 year old boy who is grumpy and not getting his school work done. My 6 year old girl who I SWEAR is already hormonal and emotional. Poor kid she's my daughter. And my 4 year old who continues to jump off shit, color on shit and cut anything she can with scissors because I guess it is fun. Parenthood...
November 12, 2010 at 3:29 PM
SeattleRunnerGirl said…
THANK YOU for posting this! I think we don't talk often enough about how we MISS our "drug" of choice when we finally give it up. It DOES suck sometimes.

Sorry you're having a day.
November 12, 2010 at 6:20 PM
V-time said…
If I can help...
Do you eat breakfast? Do you drink 2 glasses of water in the morning before breakfast(and lunch, and dinner)?
Do you drink chicory?
Do you eat any provocative high GI food that increases your appetite?
November 12, 2010 at 7:01 PM
LauraLynne said…
V -
I do eat breakfast - I eat before I leave the house at 6:30 - then again at 8. Fruit at 6:30 then oatmeal at 8. 10am is a snack - that just depends on what's available. fruit or veggie typically though.
Throughout the day I drink 4.5L of water starting when I get to work at 7:30 and continuing until I go to bed. My diet is very boring day to day and there wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
It was merely an emotional response to a craptastic day. As an addict, I turn to food rather than dealing with emotions - or at least that's the pattern I'm trying to break.
Thank you for the insightful help though
November 12, 2010 at 7:26 PM
V-time said…
Personally I would not drink more than 2-2.5L of water a day(unless you do a very extensive physical work and sweat a lot, and have to compensate your electrolytes) but I drink water 30-40min before each meal.No water for 1 hour after a meal, and no drinking after dinner.
Check my menu, try it, let me know if you feel any difference.
For the last 10 months this diet became my lifestyle and I easily control my emotions and appetite as well.
November 13, 2010 at 6:39 AM
LauraLynne said…
I've always drank a lot of water - much less than that and I get headaches and dehydrated. I do work out 1-2 hours a day - some days more.
As for the foods and hunger, if physical hunger were the issue, this would be simple and I would never have gotten obese and had to work through issues. My "hunger" is my addiction, it's not related to the foods that I eat, it's more related to 30 years of emotional eating. It's hard to explain if you haven't experienced it.
November 13, 2010 at 10:39 AM
Raegun said…
Your day can only get better from here, right? Good for you for not giving in to temptation at a stressful time.
Rae
xo
November 13, 2010 at 10:53 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Time to come clean - and start blogging again with NEWS!

I've been avoiding the blogging world - for a couple reasons.  My eating has been horrible.  Well, maybe not horrible but definately not brag-worthy or blog-worthy.  I've been embarassed at how much I've regressed back into old eating habits. The other reason is I've been keeping a secret but it's time to come clean.  I've been gaining weight - only a little - and with my doctor's full permission.  As of today, I'm 16weeks 4 days pregnant, and this one's here to stay!  I'm excited.  And nervous. And sick as a dog with morning sickness.  I've used all of the above as an excuse to jump off the wagon (and load it with junk food to drag around with me all day).  I've had chips and candy and sugar - and not in small quantities.  I now weight 205.  Up from 190.  But holding steady and fully aware of the changes I need to make - again. Mostly my problem is that I have morning sickness 24 hours a day.  It's like really bad mot...
17 comments
Read more

8k Race report - the details!

As a "big girl" the first thing I look for is how many runners there are as big or bigger than me. It's just what I do. At a 5k, there are usually a number of women bigger than me and many my size. Today that wasn't the case. Apparently adding 3k eliminates a lot of plus size runners. I did not see anyone my size. My husband told me there were a few other big girls running - but I didn’t' see them. Talk about a head trip - I was really nervous! The announcer released my group and we're off! Less than a quarter mile in, I realized that I may not have thought this race all the way through. Let me just mention, I'm scared of heights. I used to be terrified of heights - now I'm just scared. I mostly do fine with them but bridges still can bring on a panic attack for me. The name of this race: Beat the Bridge. Um. Like I said, I may have overlooked part of the planning this race out. So less than a quarter mile from the start, there's a bridge - n...
13 comments
Read more

coming out of my slump - and a new puppy!

I've been in a slump - blog silence on my end usually means just that.  I've been struggling to keep up my healthy eating and I haven't been working out.  My weight has stayed the same but that's NOT my goal in this journey.  I'm hanging out at 191 still - so close to 180's.  But I'm really mentally struggling.  It's been cold.  I've been exhausted.  I haven't felt 100% well.  I've got a million other excuses.  I've spent 42 years making excuses.  I'm a freaking Excuse Expert.  I'm signed up for a 5k on 12/12 - so I'd better get my butt in gear.  I'm contemplating a 1/2 marathon in April - I'd better get my butt in gear.  I've lost 49 pounds and have 41 more to go - I'd better get my butt in gear. If only it were as easy to DO as it were to say.  I've cheated on my abstinence foods - sugar AND candy.  Still no chips - as if there's solace in that.  But today's a new day and Day 1 again.  And to...
10 comments
Read more