So, tonight, after a put a batch of Taco soup in the crock pot, I headed out for my training run. 4 miles. I say that self depreciatingly - you just can't READ that online. ONLY 4 miles. MERELY 4 miles. Not running the whole way, just intervals. Anything to take the credit or joy out of it. The reality is I should be proud. SHOULD be. But my stupid head tells me "It's only 4 miles. and you're not RUNNING all of it - don't be fooled, you're still fat, you can't run, so don't you dare be proud, even for a moment" STUPID STUPID STUPID. I should be proud. I should at least not be so damn hard on myself. As I was typing the above words out loud, the insulting ones, a thought popped into my head that made my eyes water a little. That voice. It was my dad's. Never good enough. Never smart enough. Never responsible enough. Never clean enough. Just Never Enough. That should have been my nam...
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I'm not sure if you got my last message but if you didn't be sure to check out my blog post today. :)