Skip to main content

weigh in day - 222.4

I started off with a great week - got down to 219.0! The last few days have been difficult - mentally. I just want to dive back into old habits head first. I'm at nothing lost for the week and that should be a success. But I feel like a failure! 6 weeks - 18 pounds gone, that's 3 a week average. If anyone told me they'd done that, I'd be over the moon for them. ok. enough whining. I KNOW what i need to do.

This weekend I resolve to sign up for at least one 5k. And one sprint Tri. And start working out.

There, I said it. *deep deep deep breath*

I also need more sleep. at some point my body got it's wires crossed and thinks that food=sleep and I'm just struggling to fight the idea that if I eat something, I will wake up more - or feel more rested - or something! I know it's not reality.

Ok. Off to research runs and races.

TTFN
LauraLynne

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

day 1 no sugar...again.... and finding an OA meeting

Today I read a blog that really finally pushed me over the edge.  In a good way.  I NEED OA.  I went to the meetings with my church group, got started, really had some good break throughs, but I can't do this on my own.  I need to quit dinking around and find a meeting to go to.  It won't be a quick fix, but I'm really struggling with the food addiction part on my own.  And recently I've been lecturing a friend about their husband's addiction.  His addiction is gambling - and he's stooped to stealing from family it's that bad.  And he goes to meetings but - as she tells me - they don't HAVE 12 steps there, it's "too complicated with all the religion stuff."  So I've been preaching the 12 step program to her...hypocritical of me since I haven't followed through on my own meetings.  Today I find a meeting and by this time next week, I will attend a meeting. I am powerless over sugar.  Last night after I blogged about day whatever ...

PHEW - She's a Brick....hoooouse....no, wait.

Ok.  So tonight I planned on running.  Came home, sat down for  little while.  Forced myself to get up and put on my running clothes.  Went out the front door...was NOT feeling it.  Came back inside disppointed.  Sat down.  Got up, changed shoes, pulled out the spinner (stationary bike) and put a scary movie on.  Biked for 1 hour 3 minutes.  about 1 hour 2 min. in I decided I was going to put in a mile run afterwards - in triathalon training it's called a "brick".  It's meant to simulate the transition from one event to another.  From swim to bike or from bike to run.  Doing a brick teaches you just how it feels - in this case my legs were JELLO from the biking.  But I ran.  One mile.  in 12 min. 42 seconds - not too shabby!!  But better than that - I broke my streak of "nothing".  And I had a good dinner, one piece of flatbread pizza and a large tomato salad (no pictures, sorry).  About 200...

two thumbs up from the Russian judge...

So, tonight, after a put a batch of Taco soup in the crock pot, I headed out for my training run.  4 miles.  I say that self depreciatingly - you just can't READ that online.  ONLY 4 miles.  MERELY 4 miles.  Not running the whole way, just intervals.  Anything to take the credit or joy out of it.  The reality is I should be proud.  SHOULD be.  But my stupid head tells me "It's only 4 miles.  and you're not RUNNING all of it - don't be fooled, you're still fat, you can't run, so don't you dare be proud, even for a moment" STUPID STUPID STUPID. I should be proud.  I should at least not be so damn hard on myself.  As I was typing the above words out loud, the insulting ones, a thought popped into my head that made my eyes water a little.  That voice.  It was my dad's.  Never good enough. Never smart enough. Never responsible enough. Never clean enough. Just Never Enough.  That should have been my nam...